Hive Five: Songs About Jesus, Not By Creed

Tom Waits in Prague, July 2008. Photo: isifa/Lidove Noviny/Getty Images

With such turn-of-the-millennium hits as “Higher,” “My Sacrifice” and “Arms Wide Open,” Creed brought Christianity to the pop charts, honoring Jesus as only overwrought Florida butt-rockers can. But Creed isn’t the only one basking in a glowing light from above! Here’s five songs about Jesus that we endorse that have nothing to do with Creed.

1. Tom Waits: “Chocolate Jesus”

Forget wafers — Waits takes communion at the candy store, giving “my sweet lord” a whole new meaning.

2. Screaming Blue Messiahs: “Jesus Chrysler Drives a Dodge”

The criminally overlooked Messiahs were obsessed with religion and American culture, and on this 1987 punkabilly gem, they combine those themes, imagining Jesus as a bad-ass road warrior, sideswiping semis and filling his tank on “the wages of sin.”

3. Morrissey: “I Have Forgiven Jesus”

Moz blames J.C. for giving him “so much love in a loveless world,” ostensibly causing all the misery and humiliation he’s endured since boyhood, then lets him off the hook. He’s still mad at Johnny Marr, though.

4. Ministry: “Jesus Built My Hot Rod”

And they say it’s hard to find an honest mechanic …

5.  Bad Religion: “American Jesus”

This one’s less about Jesus than it is American hypocrisy, imperialism and commercialism. At least we think it’s about those things — Greg Graffin tends to go over our heads.

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