St. Patrick’s Day is the time of year when people doll themselves up in green paraphernalia and imbibe beer and whiskey by the bucket load. So in preparation for 2012′s green day on Saturday, March 17, Hive rounded-up up some expertly qualified beer-loving white (and sometimes even Irish) rappers to give us an insider’s guide to enjoying the ultimate St. Patrick’s Day: Everlast, whose Irish-American group House of Pain dropped a debut album titled Fine Malt Lyrics; Macklemore, who is part of this year’s XXL Freshmen line-up and can claim the hit “Irish Celebration” in his vault; Asher Roth, who dropped a PBR-sponsored mixtape, Pabst & Jazz, earlier this year and who likes to brag about his beer pong skills; and Eminem‘s white trash rap protege, Yelawolf. Then we also drafted in Obie Trice, who makes the cut by virtue of styling his first album after the Cheers bar and who handily has a new album out next month titled Bottoms Up. So grab that car-bomb and sup on successfully with the white rappers’ guide to St. Patrick’s Day.
1.Embrace the St. Patrick’s Day spirit
As its name suggests, St. Patrick’s Day was originally designed to commemorate Saint Patrick and the arrival of the Christian religion in Ireland. These days though, it’s morphed into a rousing excuse to get blind blotto drunk. As Everlast puts it, “People think that they’re expected to get drunk that day! There’s so much stereotypical drunken Irish stuff out there, like you’ve gotta get drunk that day. And it’s been enforced by really good marketing by beer and liquor companies!” Speaking of which…
2. Drink liberally and traditionally
When it comes to posting up at the bar and getting a round in for St. Patrick’s Day, our rap panel agrees that the standard order is simple. “For the most part it’s Guinness and whiskey that’s the spirit of it all,” explains Asher Roth. Backing up Roth’s decree, Macklemore adds, “For whiskey, you’re looking at getting in the classic Jameson or Bushmills.”
3. Don’t let your carbomb curdle
“The car-bomb is the stereotypical St. Paddy’s Day drink,” says Macklemore, talking about the combination of sinking a shot of whiskey into a pint of Guinness and then downing the whole shebang. It’s a fusion that sounds hardcore, but as Asher Roth advises, “Don’t be intimidated ’cause it actually goes down real smooth. Just make sure you drop it in there and go because if you take too long it starts to curdle.”
4. But don’t be afraid to try new drinks
For the contrarians out there, Obie Trice recommends a simple vodka and orange juice as an alternative to the trials of the car-bomb. Yelawolf, who at times has been known to sport a pair of Budweiser-branded boxer shorts (“from Walmart,” he says), goes one step further though: “I’d invent the Catfish Billy, which would be moonshine and Mountain Dew, or Kool Aid and Captain Morgans.” Either way, take this one with Yela’s warning that “Sugar and alcohol is not the best mixture.”
5. Figure out where to party (traditional)
“The ultimate St. Patrick’s Day celebration has got to be the New York parade,” says Everlast, talking about the event that starts at West 44th Street and 5th Avenue in Manhattan this year. However, while Ev says that the parade itself is “fun,” the real entertainment comes from elsewhere. “The insanity of the people-watching you can do if you step off on to one of the side avenues: You see all of the really fucked up drunk people fighting and acting ignorant. That’s about as crazy as it gets.”
6. Figure out where to party (non-traditional)
If you can’t make it to the New York City parade on March 17, the rest of our rappers recommend focussing the celebration on the people you’re with, not the location. Obie Trice says, “Just get a lot of liquor, a lot of women, and some great music and you’re good wherever you are.” So for Asher Roth, that meant heading down to Santa Monica last year, while Macklemore says that he’s enjoyed many a “crazy St. Patrick’s Day while at South by South West.”
7. Get the right soundtrack
House of Pain’s “Jump Around” is the hip-hop St. Patrick’s Day national anthem so much so that the video for it was shot live at the parade in New York. “It’s a pretty big song for that day,” admits Everlast, who adds that he usually ends up being booked to perform it that day. (This year he’ll be in Vegas.) For an updated anthem though, Macklemore insists that his own “Irish Celebration” is the track to play: “We’ve performed it on St. Patrick’s Day and it’s a real anthem for us Irish-American people and the Irish in general.” Balancing out the rap tracks, Asher Roth endorses listening to “… That wild stuff, like the Dropkick Murphys, and then maybe some Cranberries.”
8. Feel free to cut loose
Fortified by copious car-bombs, St. Patrick’s Day is the time to throw those social sanitary norms out of the window! Whether you’re outside peeping a parade or faced with an improbably long line to use a bar’s bathroom, sometimes it’s best to literally take matters into your own hands. As Obie Trice advises, “When I’ve been drunk I’ve pissed in a corner somewhere in a public place instead of going to the lavatory.” (He does then add, “It was embarrassing.”)
9. Don’t get bruised up, or at least get some ice packs ready
There’s a chance that you’re going to wake up with mysterious bruises on your body the morning after St. Patrick’s Day. Macklemore speculates that, fueled by booze, he’s seen people “just in their pants walking down the street falling over. But they usually hop up and keep wildin’ on ’cause they’re drunk the injuries come later!” Then he adds with a cautionary note: “I’ve definitely fallen over, passed out, and woken up in blood. It’s not embarrassing, but kinda depressing.”
10. Prepare for the hangover
Unfortunately, as Everlast puts it soberly, “There is no cure for a hangover.” Still, our cast of hip-hop drunkies do suggest some ways to handle the searing pain. Asher Roth puts faith in a combination of “water and rest make sure you get that Gatorade.” Macklemore testifies, “When I was hungover I would smoke weed and chug water.” But Obie Trice, Yelawolf and Everlast all ultimately put faith in a more time-honored tradition; as Ev puts it, “I’m a hair of the dog guy a little bit of whiskey and a beer the next day to even me out. A little hair of the dog and you’re bitchin’.” Cheers, as they say!
