Today Lana Del Rey unleashed the seven-minute soft-focus video for “National Anthem,” in which she plays both Jacqueline Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe alongside A$AP Rocky as JFK. Hidden within the flick is some sagely advice on how to put the moves on the object of your amorous affections, which we’ve happily turned into a 11-point Gif guide. Just remember us when you toast Lana and Rocky at your Hyannis Port wedding.
1. Spruce up in sports casual
2. Catch their eye
3. Give a slow, manicured wave
4. Blow a kiss; catch a kiss
5. Now you’re ready for contact: Slyly take the hand…
6. … then boldly move to the knee with this subtle, manicured middle-finger caress
7. Titillate them with taxidermy
8. Raunch it up on the dance floor…
9. If the feeling’s right, then grab that behind
10. Now you’re ready to smooch!
11. Enjoy your post-coital bliss with a finger suck and a nap
