Hive Five: Our Daily Listicle of Musical Musings
Turbonegro have made a career of trying to offend people. Just look at their name — which was actually toned down from their initial moniker of “Nazipenis”! The title of their new album is called Sexual Harrassment, their 2005 rarities compilation was dubbed Small Feces, and song titles over the years have included “Wipe It Till It Bleeds,” “Rendezvous With Anus,” and “The Midnight NAMBLA.” Basically, since their formation in 1989, Turbonegro have been like a zany, Norwegian Insane Clown Posse, out to push everybody’s buttons with gross jokes and cheap shots. So what actually offends the dudes in the band? Hive caught up with singer Tony Sylvester and bassist “Happy Tom” Seltzer to learn five things that even Turbonegro find offensive.
1. Bad breath
Happy Tom: Do you know what really bothers me? Bad breath really pisses me off, in public places. It’s like Christopher Hitchens once wrote, “His halitosis was so strong, at this point his breath was starting to undo my tie.
2. Rich white dude stuff
Tony Sylvester: We’re not easily offendable. You know what’s really bothering me of late? And this is a very rich, white man problem that I’ve developed because of Turbonegro? Walking into a hotel room and not being able to find the light switch. In modern hotel rooms, they don’t put them on the left or right side of the door. They’re like in the room somewhere, so you have to walk around in the room in the dark, and then you have to put your gear in. Fuck that. How bad is it that not being able to find a light switch is the only thing that offends me in the world.
3. Party poopers
Happy Tom: Another thing that offends me, you know what that is? Party poopers.
MTV Hive: Can you define party-poopers?
Happy Tom: Grown-ups, they’re also known as. Fucking party-pooping shitheads, with their agendas.
MTV Hive: What kind of agendas?
Happy Tom: Pooping the party.
4. Pineapple on pizza
Happy Tom: I hate it.
Tony Sylvester: Ham and pineapple is an English pizza flavor. If you look at Pizza Hut, every country, they have one unique pizza flavor in that country. The English one is always “Hawaiian,” and that’s ham and pineapple. That offends me.
Happy Tom: Trans-Atlantic jetlags – we got in last night. Ugh! Sorry. We’re beat.
Watch Turbonegro’s video for “You Gave Me Worms” below: